As a preface to this blog, I’d like to explain the origin and significance of the title. Jeff and I were married in Galena, IL on August 7, 1999. As part of a surprise, Jeff gave me a framed copy of Pablo Neruda’s poem El Alfarero and also had the last line inscribed into my wedding band. It reads, como una sola arena (like a single grain of sand).
The poem—and in particular, that last line—has found its way into our marriage at different times and places as a reminder of our union and dedication to one another. We recently purchased our first home and hung a swing on the porch. Jeff gave me small plaque that we would place on the swing that read:
y juntos
somos completos como un solo rio
como un sola arena
It’s often easier to feel like a single grain of sand when things are going well—but it’s most important when things aren’t going as planned.
On December 17, 2010, Jeff was diagnosed with Stage 3 (possibly 4) melanoma cancer. The tumor has metastasized in one of his lymph nodes and has grown considerably. In the course of 4 weeks, we received the diagnosis, found a clinical trial, and moved temporarily to Houston, TX.
My hope is that this blog will not only serve as a vehicle to update the people we love on the “goings on” of our lives, but it will be a record we can share with Santos when he is older so he will know of all that we went through because of love.
We pray that God will give you both His strength to endure this trial and that through it you will say as Job, “Blessed be the name of the Lord!”
We love you guys and are daily in our families prayers!
Beautiful pictures of your family!!!
Hello guys,
Remember i’m just a skip and hop from you guys so if you need anything, please do not hesitate.
love you and God bless you,
Maria Elena
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Hi Mary, Jeff and Santos: Let me know if I can help in any way, you are always in my prayers, I love you and I will be here for you when you need me. Love Luisa
My thoughts are with you, Erlachers. Much love, JW.
Mis queridos amigos…Jeff, Marisol, y Santos
Just wanted to say that I continue praying and thinking of you all. There is no doubt that these are tough and trying times but the love for you, by family and friends, is incredibly powerful and heart warming. May you be comforted knowing we fight with you and for you.
Besos y abrazos.
Alejandro
So I wanted to tell you what Jacob says every night before dinner while praying:
“Dear Jesus, Thank you for food, Santos’ Dad, Amen.”
Thanks guys for this really moving post. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Jacob prays for Santos’s dad at every meal and before bed time.
Thanks for sharing the beauty of your heart and your marriage! My prayer for you: for God to reveal His glory in you as a family!
I will be priviledged to ´follow ur steps´ and walk with you during this trial.
Love
Olga
You have such a precious bond as well as loving and beautiful family. Thank you for sharing and keeping us updated. We feel blessed to be part of your lives and always have you in our thoughts and prayers.
Thanks for beginning this blog so we can follow along – we have so appreciated getting Mary Lou’s emails. You are constantly on our minds and hearts and we know this can all work toward the good! Courage to you on the journey!
I absolutely adore you guys and the symbolism of the love you have for one another is so beautiful. Jeff stay strong and take each day as another stride to recovery, we pray and think about you each day. Mari, you are amazing, and Jeff is truly lucky to have you as his wife-y and his angel. Santitos, keep giving your mami and papi those hugs and kisses because they are priceless! God bless you guys.
Los sentimos como nuestra familia, igual que todas estas personas que escribieron ahi arriba y todos los que estan pensando en ustedes. Esa fuerza esta ahi; es fuerte y calida, la siento en mi corazon cada vez que Alba se pone seria y reza por Jeff en su cama. Estoy segura de que Dios escucha esas oraciones. Y se que cada pequenho sentimiento de amor que todos sentimos por ustedes es la manera que cada uno tenemos de rezar y de darles las gracias por su amistad y por ser un ejemplo tan enorme para todos nosotros. Mil bendiciones, queridos amigos. Como los extranhamos!
Eralcher family, all of my love is being beamed to you. I hope only the best news comes your way. You are all in my thoughts.
-Paul
Jeff & Mari,
We are trusting God for you. His goodness and love for you remain constant. We pray for you everyday and long for your complete healing. Thank you for this blog so we can continue to know how to pray.
Sending all my love. I miss you guys and I’m praying like never before, probably way too much. I should probably give God a break (not!). As things progress let me know when I can come visit; perhaps especially when it sucks the most. I emailed you both about the babysitter possibility, and contacted Whitney to reply-all back, so you should be hearing from her.
Dear Jeff and Mari,
You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I’m praying for God to give you strength and that you will feel His presence. He will never leave you or forsake you. I love the family pictures on this blog. I love you much, Sue
Queridos Jeff, Marisol y Santos, Gracias por tenernos enterados de los que esta pasando con Uds.
Marisol y Jeff como la frase que pusiste en la placa “somos como un rio, un grano de arena”, en la inmensidad del amor de Díos para Uds. y su amor entre Uds y con él. Yo entiendo que grande es su amor por su familia y con el amor de nuestro Padre celestial todo se puede, Jesús nos dice: que todo lo pidamos en su nombre su Padre nos lo dara. yo se que con el rio del amor y el granito de arena familiar, nuestras esperanzas, presistencia, oración y apoyo de todos los que los queremos y te rodeamos, con energia positiva la amorosa voluntad de nuestro Padre un milagro puede suceder para la gloria de su Reino. el espiritu transende el espacio no estan solos.
Los queremos mucho, cualquier cosa que necesiten lo unico que necesitan hacer es una llamada y hay estaremos junto a Uds.
Tio Ted y Lucrecia
Amados Marisol, Jeff y Santos; los queremos muchisimo aunque estemos lejos, nuestras oraciones, pensamientos positivos y nuestro amor va hacia uds. todos los días y cada momento que los recuerdo.
Jeff y Marisol recuerden que hay una promesa de Jesús para todos sus hernamos ” todo lo que pidan en mi nombre mi Padre se los dara” Yo se que si esto lo pedimos con mucha fé y con el pensamiento positivo va a pasar. Las fotos estan preciosas y en ella se ve el amor y cuando hay amor nada nos falta. Adelante, fierzas y esperanza nada es imposible cuando amamos a Díos, y tenemos el apoyo de nuestra familia,amigos y la ciensia medica.
Los queremos mucho,nuestras oraciones estan con Uds a cada momento.
Tio Ted y Lucrecia
Marisol, When i was pregnet I wanted the right name for you, Which i’am glad I did, (Mar) Is the sea which is hope (Sol) the sun which is life, The last piece was the grian of sand that is jeff. Anyone can find a partner, But you found your soulmate. We pray everyday I ask grandpa / marina to put thier arm’s around you all, they are saint’s in my eye’s LOVE MOM
Blanca (mom to mom),
Thank you so much for your beautiful explanation of Mari’s lovely name. I knew about sea and sun but not the connection to hope and life. That is exactly what this phase of the journey is all about. That we may trust and believe in the hope that is within us through Christ, our Lord, so that Jeff may have abundant life to be lived to the fullest. Bless you and thank you…
Mary Lou
I don’t think I had the privilege of meeting you three personally but Dave and Mary Lou are friends. I want you to know that we are praying for you and hold you in our hearts. Be strong and always remember how much God loves each of you.
In His love,
Bruce and Elsa Shauger
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Jeff, it’s been forever! Your son is adorable! Just wanted to let you know that we are praying for you and your family. We pray for strength for you and Mari and guidance for your doctors.
Marisol, Jeff Y Santos:
Queremos recordarles que tienen otra familia con un apellido diferente. esperamos TODO salga super bien y Jeff se recupere de esta enfermedad. Los queremos y recordamos mucho.
Familia Tovar Medina
Beautiful pictures — beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your inspiring love story. Your strength and connection shines through — I know it will serve you well in these difficult weeks. Jeff, I have also been enjoying watching your OMS videos & smile at your good humor and great stories about Santos. It’s a joy to watch you in action and I plan to steal all your material at my earliest opportunity. 🙂
I wish for you good news and forward progress in the weeks and months to come. You are very much in my thoughts. Love, Kate
Jeff,
Just wanted to let you know that Tammy and I have had you in our thoughts and prayers. It is awesome to see the outpouring of love shown in this blog alone, as well as the support shown by your family and friends during this ordeal. I think it is a testiment not only of God’s presence in your life, but also the impact you have made on others’ lives.
On a lighter note, I will forgive you this one time for missing this year’s bi-annual Christmas Rail Baron game, however I fully expect to see you on Christmas 2012!
Jeff & Marisol,
You and your family are in my thoughts and in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your story and updates with us. Your family pictures are beautiful! Santos is such an adorable little boy, and lucky to have such amazing parents.
Megan
Hi Jeff and Mari,
I have never stopped praying for you and continue to bring you before the throne of grace!
We love you and recall so many fun times with you and remember how kind you were to Jenah!
Lean on God-He can take it.
We pray. Thy will be done.
Love,love, love, Lynn and Lardawg
Jeff, Marisol and Santos,
May God bless you and keep you and make His face shine on you and give you peace…now even more than ever before. I’m praying for you guys.
Love, Libby
My prayers will always be with you and your family, i wish your whole family the best.
Thanks for including me. We are all praying for you.
Jeff, Mari, and Santos:
Your is in my thoughts daily! Praying that God will take you through this trying time, and give you the peace only he can give. I loved your Mom’s statement about the sea, sun, and sand.
May God show you the power that he can display, just like he displays in nature (the sea, sun, and sand.)
Take care!
Sorry. You all are in my thoughts.
Jeff and Marisol, I know you only through friends but wanted you to know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I send you much love. God bless. Dale Alvarez
I am always sending my love and prayers your way Erlachers. Thanks for taking the time to set up this blog for all of us who care for you. With love, Sarah
Hi mari,santos,and jeff
Im am thinking soo much for you I miss u and jeff alot and i hope jeff gets better and i pray everyday for jefff and i hope i willl see you soon.
love,gabe
Friends of Meredith and Catherine’s and they asked us to pray. Am doing so – a beautifl blog. Light and Grace, Deborah
Thinking of the three of you everyday. Please let me know if Josie and I can do anything.
Jeff, Mari, Santos:
I have hesitated to write as I feel I do not have the words to accurately express my thoughts and feelings. Therefore, I await the time when I see you, face to face, hopefully very soon. In the meantime, know that you are loved by your Mother and I very much, even more by God, whom you have embraced and acknowledged mightily, in the past. There are by my limited estimation somewhere near thirty church’s plus, praying for you.
You have courage, through the Holy Spirit and will beat this deamon called cancer! “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disgusied as impossible situations”. You are a blessing to us and we want to be an encouragement to you.
You are much loved and we pray for you momentarily,
Dad
I wish there was something I could say that involved being sarcastic or witty, as those are generally the media I write in. Yet, when my heart is so full of anger and love for you guys, I find that I have to use someone else’s words to say what I want to say.
Oh I know this might sound sad/
But everything goes,both good and the bad/
It all adds up and you should be glad/
Everlasting love is all you have
Hang in there guys, and let me know if there’s anything at all that you need.
Thank you for sharing your journey. We feel incredibly blessed to be your family. You are in our thoughts and prayers constantly. It is hard to understand why all this is happening, but we stand with you in hope and love. We are so proud of you! May you have strength and courage beyond your own in the days ahead.
Con mucho amor,
Matt & Jo
Jeff and Mari,
I know the future seems scary, but know that God is already there and He holds you in His hands. Love you, Sue
Jeff – Your son, Santos, has your smile! We are praying for you and you are on the prayer list of our Bible study group. Love your parents, brothers and family. Rod and Joanne
Dearest Jeff and Mari,
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Our hearts, our smiles and tears, our love, and our prayers are with you always. We are blessed to call you cousins and to be part of your family and your life.
I can’t put it any better than what Joshua, our two year old, would say, “God bless you, Tio Jeff. God bless you, Tia Mari. God bless you, Santos.”
All our love and prayers,
Andy and Sandy
Marisol & Jeff,
Your love and courage is beautiful and truly amazing.
I feel privileged and grateful to read your blog entries, along with all of the supportive responses.
I am continually moved by the balance of the honest emotional & physical struggles and the phenomenal strength and motivation and life force that is present in you both.
Santos has wonderful set of parents who continually fill his world with love and beautiful energy.
My thoughts are with you often and I carry you all in my heart.
-brandy
Jeff, Marisol and Santos
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Jeff we have put you on our prayer list at Church so everyone is praying for you.
You are two of the strongest people we know! Your Love, Strength and Faith will get you though this! Let us know if you need anything.
Much Love, Tio Jaime and Tia Cindy!
To Jeff, Mari and your entire family. We continue to keep you all close in our thoughts and prayers. Strength to you all. love, Rod and Joanne
Mari, Santos and Jeff, you are in our hearts and prayers. Your faith is strong and God is walking with you. We love you. Tia Gloria and Tio Henry.
Amados Jeff, Marisol y Santos; Nosotros los queremos mucho, y seguimos orando por Uds, gracias por abrir tu corazón a la familia y amigos para poder hacer lo que este a nuestro alcanse como seres humanos de poner nuestro granito de arena al rio del amor de Uds,
Todos estamos orando por un milagro si es la voluntad de Dios para la vida de Uds. Recuerden que cuando Dios cierra una puerta siempre abre una ventana y esta deja entrar cosas mejores de las que teniamos, Mari y Jeff la esperanza, la perseverancia la fe y el amor todo lo puede, sigan fuertes en estas tres y con la ayuda de todas las oraciones de miles de personas que los queremos y de personas que no los conocen todo tendra un resultado positivo, no savemos como ni cuando pero esto es una promesa de nuestro Padre que los ama tanto. Adelante!! SI SE PUEDE!!!!!
Los queremos muchisimo.
Tio Ted y Lucrecia
Jeff, Mari and Santos–we have never met, but I’m Jolene’s sister (so your new sister-in-law’s sister!), and just wanted to let you know that you are frequently in my thoughts and prayers. May God’s peace and presence flood your lives. Blessings to you!
Thinking of you all constantly. Love and prayers, Jo
Mari, I will continue to walk & pray through this journey with you. My heart breaks for you & your family. I will not stop praying until Jeff is well. I know first hand that it’s so hard to watch a person you love so much, endure so much & to feel so helpless. Remember Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…Love never fails. I pray for the Lord’s comfort & rest for you both.
I’m so happy to hear that Jeff was released from the hospital today!!!
Love and strength to you all though this time. I am sorry to hear about the cancer. I will be praying for your family daily. Take care Mari!
I am thinking of you Erlachers and sending much love your way. I pray for a full and speedy recovery for Jeff. With love, Lara
I think of you daily…My heart is heavy…Love and miss you much.
Mari,
You, Jeff and Santos continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for sharing your journey….
Take good care of yourselves,
Shaayestah
Hi Jeff and Mari,
I have been thinking about the three of you and I pray for all of you every day. I know that you possitive mind, strong will and faith on the Lord will help you get through this storm and the three of you will be able to enjoy your life for many years. If you need anything, please call me or let me know.
Love,
Tia Carmen
Jeff and Mari and Santos, I keep you in my prayers. I know the Lord will give you the strength you need through out these trying times.
Love,
Tia Carmen
Even though we are in Washington, DC visiting our lovely new granddaughter (Adelaide), we cannot get you out of our minds or prayers. We hoped to hear news about the possible re-classification of your cancer and the meeting with a surgeon this week. We are anxious to know about any positive developments. Our SS class has been praying faithfully for you, as has our community group. We’ll wait patiently for the latest developments.
We send our love to all of you.
John & Nancy
Hi Jeff, Mari and Santos,
May the Lord continue to bless you with love, strenght, faith and hope so you are able to continue this journey. Our Lord is love and I know he is with you all the time. I love you and continue to pray for you.
Love,
Tia Carmen
Your beautiful Familia is in my prayers.
Jesus, we pray that Jeff will get through this and in time this will be a memory of how he and his family fought and won this battle. In you we trust.
Love,
Erika
Jeff, thanks for sharing your heartfelt thoughts with us. We truly believe this is hopeful news for you,Mari, and Santos. We are so thankful the lord has placed such wonderful people in your path to guide and assist in this journey. Enjoy your time back home in Denver and work on rebuilding your strength. Our prayers, love, and support will continue.
Hugs and Kisses to everyone!
Victor and Lisa
Jeff, Mari and Santos Big hugs from us. God loves you and all your wonderful family. Rod and Joanne
Thank you for sharing your thoughts as you walk this part of your journey–you are in my prayers, and in Jolene and I’s conversation often. I feel like I know you even though we’ve never met!
Que Dios les bendiga y guarda con su paz y amor.
-Jessica
Jeff, when we heard the news you had cancer I thought to my self not again I lost my grandfather to cancer which santos is named after, and my cousin which was only 46 by the time she got the news is was to late she was told she had 6 months to live. I was so mad that this could happen to jeff i cryed everyday and prayed to god not to take him.I could not even think of santos growing and not sharing life with him, and marisol. I know god is taking care of you and family, I am so thankfull you and marisol have such great friends that have so much love for you all. And also family which is so far but close in heart. We all will be there and after this journey is over, I know you will look up to the sky and say i made it. I can’t wait to see you all we pray everyday.like the song my grandparent’s use to sing ” one day at a time sweet jesus that’s all i ask of you” LOVE Mom
Jeff, Mari and Santos-
God bless you and know that our family continues to pray for you all! Your faith, marriage, family and friends are an inspiration and beautiful testimony of all that is good about life!
Laurie Worden
(co-worker/friend of Mary Lou)
Mari, Jeff and Santos:
We are so glad to hear that is lot of hope in the future, Mari your love, faith and strength is an inspiration to all of us, Thank you for let us be part of your journey, we love you and your beautiful family, all of you are in our daily prayers.
Love you
Luisa and Francisco
Mari, Jeff and Santos, Praying for your family. Have been searching for you guys for a couple years and had no idea what you had been sustained through in these last several months. Sending love to your family from ours!
What is there to say? You make me reconsider my life. You didn’t know it, but you gave me permission to run off to the wars, to fight the armies of the tyrannical, to do whatever I could to destroy those who would smother the weak, because you were the stable one. You made smart choices, you chose to marry a real woman the first time around, you picked your way seemingly carefully and righteously enough to be the son that Mom and Dad earned. And you and Marisol have brought a beautiful little boy into the world and into the family. God knows Brad is Brad, and I have provided little comfort to our parents nor any easing of the heartache they felt every time I’ve left this country other than merely to come back again, only to leave yet again a few months later.
Here I sit in the desert once more, feeding the bureaucratic beast in a war that is no more, and mostly forgotten, I think, and I feel helpless and somewhat shamed for the nothing I can do for you. I have grown accustomed to being the ‘man of action’ one of my bosses once praised me for being, while punishing me for breaking some random rule that someone high-ranking made up. But yours is a battle over which I can have no influence. There is no insurgent to pursue, no terrorist act to investigate, for I have not the tools to engage this enemy. There aren’t even any rules to break that would make me feel better about the whole thing.
Prayer. Yes, well, I still struggle with that. I come back to that in a perverted circular logic train periodically. I want prayer to work, but I find little or no effect in it. At least not in my prayers, anyways. Jolene’s seem to work – she’s a pro – so you have that going for you. Don’t get me wrong, you certainly have my prayers – like everyone else’s in this blog – but mine seem to be “short rounds.” Those are shells that are defective and are unable to travel all the way to the intended target, and end up plowing dirt a few miles short. I hope I’m wrong about that. I hope I’m wrong because I think there is more use for you here than not. There is more place for you here, now, than anywhere else. You bring something unique to all of us, something irreplaceable, something important. Heaven will get you soon enough, my brother, and it needn’t be sooner.
Jeff and Family Remember that God has great strength and gives us strength. (1 Corinthians 2:25) We continue to send our best thoughts your way. (Would add a smiley face here if I knew how!) Love, Rod and Joanne
Even in the face of extreme hardship, Jeff’s wisdom and calm come through in his writing. Amazing man, amazing family.
My thoughts are with you daily.
Tracey Mc
This thing call cancer is a fight, don’t be afraid. Fight back will all you have even if you feel all beat up inside. This will bring you all even more closer. “CANCER” I HATE IT . when i heard the news i guess i was mad at god and said ,how could you let this happen to a person with so much love. But with all the prayer’s and love cancer does’t have a chance we will kick it a!!!!!S Be strong fight with all you have , we will all be behind you or in front. Like ma”s famous words ‘DON’T BEAT THE TRAIN ” love Mom
Jeff and mari-santos still praying for you all. I want to to thank all the loving people that have been there for you guys. You all have amazing friends that care so much. I was glad to see friends going to see you all in texas . To see so much from their hearts made me happy to see so many people their when you need’ed them. And also for the one’s that had you all in thier heart’s an pray’es. Still praying for you God will hear love you all always. LOVE MOM
Mari, Jeff and Santos; please know that your brothers and sisters in Christ here at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Saginaw, MI., and Bethlehem School will be praying for you, Jeff, as you undergo surgery; and for you, Mari and Santos, as you await the out come of the surgery. May the Holy Spirit keep all of you strong in the hours ahead! Your cousin Charlie.
I’m so glad to find this blog! I have been praying for you all and didn’t know what happened with surgery… So I just am so glad I can track it here! I will continue to keep you all in my prayers and send positive thoughts your way!!!:)
Hang in there!
PS~ I also wanted to say that I was thinking of a song that may kinda lift your spirits called, this is the stuff… it is a christian song by a gal that of course is slipping my mind for a name.. but it says, “in the middle of my little mess I forget how much I’m blessed…” And yes you are very blessed that it didn’t spread to the organs!!!!!! YEAH!!! Hope you can listen to the song soon!
Much love heading your way!
~Aleasha LeClere LMT
I love this song – it is done by Francesca Battistelli. It just puts everything in the right perspective!
Hi Jeff and Marisol,
I just wanted you to know that I have been keeping track of your progress. Thanks so much for the web site updates. You both are amazing people—so strong and upbeat. And that’s exactly why you’re doing so well. It seems like you have lots of friends and family to help and support but please add me to your list. If I can help in any way, please call (303-921-5788).
Jeff and Mari We are so glad to have read your last notes, from both of you ! Yea!! Our Bible study group gets updates and is praying for you. love, Rod and Joanne
Jeff & Mari,
We have been praying from the beginning of all you are going through, so you are being prayed for around the world. God is so good and we are so thrilled that you are exceeding what the doctors and nurses thought you should be able to do by now, Praise God! May He uphold you through this walk in the valley and may he continue to give you His strength for the journey up this mountain. When we are going through things it is hard to see all God has planned but be encouraged that He is with you and already knows the future. Rest in His wonderful arms and feel his embrace as He loves you more than you can imagine. Thanks for sharing your lives with us and all that you are going through at this time. God Bless you all. Love & Prayers!
Jeff and Mari Just got back in town to read about the benefit. Hope it was great and hope you are both doing well. In prayer and smiles sent your way. love, Joanne and Rod
Jeff and Mari,
Just joining in to send our thoughts and prayers to each one of you as you continue your rehabilitation. Debbie is so fortunate to have the chance to work with Jeff’s Mom, Mary Lou, at Kirkwood. What an inspiration she is to you – and to so many others!
Count us as part of your team – and know that you are in our daily prayers. Your posts are amazing; your strength incredible! We have found great strength in these lyrics from the song “Be Bold, Be Strong” and hope they give you encouragement too.
Be bold, be strong
For the Lord your God is with you
Be bold, be strong
For the Lord your God is with you
I am not afraid
I am not dismayed
Because I’m walking in faith and victory
Come on and walk in faith and victory
For the Lord your God is with you
© 1983 Word Music (accessed 06/29/11 at http://www.justsomelyrics.com/918711/Morris-Chapman-Be-Bold%2C-Be-Strong-Lyrics)
God bless you and your family,
Debbie and Craig Mrkvicka
Jeff We hope to see your folks this next week. We pray for the best. love, Rod and Joanne